Arthur's Embarrasing Ringtone
by pippalovespirates
Summary: Poor Arthur was being forced to watch a horror movie with an American and a certain froggy. What happens when his girlfriend calls? How is Arthur gonna explain his ringtone? ((Cruddy summary.. I know. EngSey and hinted FRUK)) /One shot/


I seriously can't believe those two idiots talked me into coming over to a watch a DVD at Alfred's house.. God.. They won't shut up. "Stop screaming Alfred it's not even scary!.." I tried to shake him off, but he was clinging to me like I was the last doughnut at Mellow Cream.

"B-But Arthur.. it _is _scary...!" Alfred buried his face against my my arm. Honestly Alfred! You're a grown arse man...

"Keep screaming like that and you'll make me horny.~" Francis smirked and chimed in.

"Oh shut up you sadist." I rolled my eyes and continued to try pull my arm away from Alfred's death grip.

"But really Alfred haven't you seen this movie before?.." Francis furrowed his eyebrows. "It is yours..."

Alfred whimpered. "Y-Yeah but it's still scary!.."

I groaned. "Maybe you shouldn't have chosen a horror movie about ghosts taking over.."

"B-But I wanted to watch it..." Alfred sighed.

Francis leaned back in his spot on the couch. "Anyone want snacks?"

"Not in particular.. " I frowned.

Alfred lit up. "I-I can go get them!" he probably needed an excuse to leave to room.

"Why would you have to?~" Francis smirked. "When I have one right here!" Suddenly everything went black. That damn frog whipped his cock out of his pants.

I already knew what it looked like of course.. But still! "Put it away Francis!" I hadn't seen it since we had broken up a few years ago.

"Um Francis.. I was thinking popcorn or ice cream.. Not "sausage".. Okay?." Alfred looked kind of disgusted. He was still pretty innocent when it came to working his way around another's body. He wasn't experienced like Francis and I.

"Oh fine.." Francis frowned and crammed his dick back into his pants. "Party poopers.." The disgusting Frenchman plopped back down onto the red couch.

We continued on and watched the movie without any shenanigans. I nearly dosed off it was so boring. I can't believe it but I probably would've much rather been doing something with my idiotic brothers... And that really is saying something..

The movie was nearly at the end. It's like all other horror movies. The main's life is sparred, as usual.. Boring. Boring as fuck.

I yawn. "Is it over yet? I've got better things to do."

"Like moi?" Francis smirked.

"Oh shut it.." I blow some hair our of my electric green eyes.

Alfred it seems had managed to actually fallen asleep. The American nuzzled my side.

"Get this thing off me, Frog." I tried to push Alfred off.

"Hmph, I'm a frog. Last time I checked frogs can't lift people." He chuckled.

I sighed. "Fine. _Francis _help me..."

The Frenchman smiled and complied, helping me push the American off.

Alfred rolled off the couch and hit the floor with a thud. "Ow..." he whined.

"Morning sleepy head.~" Francis helped him to his feet.

"You alright Alfred?" I asked.

"Oh so you're concerned, Arthur?~" Francis grinned, ruffling my tousled blonde hair.

"As if..." I rolled my eyes.

Alfred frowned and got back on the couch. "is the movie over yet?."

"Obviously." I huffed. "it's clearly not playing anymore."

"Damn, some bodies in a bad mood" Francis licked his lips.

"Stop being suggestive and licking your lips." I growled.

"I don't see why I sho-" Francis began.

The look on their faces was priceless, but I'm sure mine was as well.

Francis was interpreted by "I Like Big Buts and I cannot lie! You other brothers can't deny! And when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face you get sprung!"

Everything went silent.

"H-Huh?.." Alfred was the first to break the silence. "Where's that coming from?."

"I think it's coming from Arthur's pants..." Francis grinned.

I froze up. Please help me God.. "I-I don't know what you're talking about!.."

The song went on. "_Deep in the jeans she's wearing. I'm hooked and I can't stop staring." _

_"_It must be his ring tone!.." Alfred laughed.

"Who's it your ring tone for..?" Francis asked.

I sighed. "Just let me answer it.." I turned to the phone. "Hello, love.."

"Bonjour sweetie!" You could just hear Victoria's smile through the phone.

Francis smirked. "Mon Victoria? That's who the ringtone's for?~"

I blushed and glared at Francis. "Do you need something dearest?." I asked my girlfriend. It was true.. She had a really good body.. Especially her chest and bum..

Alfred just laughed.. Like he looked down on me.

"No, I just miss you.. Why do you think I need something?." Victoria replied, getting softer in volume.

"No reason.. But um darling... I'm a little busy.. I'm with the guys.." I replied.

"Oh... Yeah.. I'll go then.." Oh baby, don't hate me for just being busy..

"No wait.. I'll take you out to dinner tonight. I promise I'll show you a good time.. But I have to go now.. Okay?"

"Okay..."

We exchanged good byes and hung up.

"Gonna show her a good time?~" Francis laughed.

"What did I say Francis?! Shut up..!" I sighed and rubbed my temples.

Alfred smiled deviously. "Does she know that's your ringtone for her?"

No. She didn't... Why would she know? How would she have heard it? It's not like she'd call me while I was with her.. "Oh course she knows!."

"And she's down with you calling her ass big?" Alfred asked. "Even if it kinda is.."

"For your information she has a great arse.. And yes! Yes she is!." Of course she wouldn't be if she found out.. But she doesn't have to know..

Alfred laughed obnoxiously. "Of course she is!"

"Oh Oui, Oui."

Both Alfred and I turned to Francis.

"Hey who are you calling!?" I yelled.

"Victoria~." He smirked.


End file.
